Let me just start off by saying, parents, please show your kids that you are proud of them. It is a given that you love them, as it should be, but showing pride is a positive form of affection. When kids get to that tween age, I'm sure it'll be rough to show your love for them because they think it's all mushy, so instead, show pride. Don't just point out the bad that they do. At a young age, explain your reasons for things. Don't do that stupid thing of "Because I'm your dad/mom" or "because I said so". In all honesty, you're screwing yourself over with word association. They will associate "mom/dad/parent" with negativity. Psychological thing. Just take advice from the movie Parental Guidance (:
Instead of saying "don't" say "think of the consequences". Even though it may not seem like it sometimes, humans work on reason (with impulses of course). I remember something from another movie that says "if you don't let your kids out the front door, they'll only sneak out the back" and I think that, that is dead true. We will lie to avoid trouble because we think your punishment is so severe that...we just want to avoid it. Now what kind of trust building is that?
Parents. Just talk to your kids and ask them what they think. Don't let it go on every day if you think there is something wrong with your relationship. If you think therapy will help, go for it, but of course let them try it. If it doesn't work, don't force them to go back.
Listen.
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